We all love to get high and stuff our faces with food, but we all hate the feeling of regret that follows. This is especially true with summer right around the corner. Pretty soon it’s going to be sun’s out, guns out, so if your munchies are declaring war on your body goals, then have a seat so we can talk about a little something called the Whole30.
A Whole30 is a dietary program where you basically don’t eat added sugar, grains, dairy, legumes (including peanuts), processed foods, or alcohol for a whole month. I did one back in January and found that it actually worked—I dropped 15 lbs and 2% body fat while barely doing any cardio during the process. More importantly, while doing the Whole30 and after my month of dieting concluded, I noticed that my cravings for garbage foods were completely gone. Even when I was the stupidest of high, after a couple weeks the desire to hit fast food joints for items made of sawdust and broken dreams (or any other food that work directly against my be-on-the-beach-with-a-16-pack goals) went away.
What this taught me was that my munchies weren’t a function of my high, but instead a function of my body. My cravings for the worst food imaginable weren’t because of the White Rhino I was enjoying, they were due to the way my body was programmed. This may be the case for you as well, and the Whole30 way of eating is a great way to hit the reset button.
Now, I’m not claiming the Whole30 is some miracle cure for the munchies. The way THC affects your body may still yield the same hunger, but what the Whole30 does is put you on a system where your munchies will be fruits and veggies, not cakes and pies. You get so used to eating what’s essentially the paleo diet of lean proteins, eggs, and fruits and veggies that even when you do have the munchies, it becomes incredibly easy to snatch up a healthy option. Ultimately, this diet trains your body to make your munchies work for you.
If you want to tame your munchies without removing cannabis from your life and you’re ready for a dietary change, here are a few simple suggestions.
Eat the Same Meals, at the Same Time, Every Day
Eating the same thing at the same time every day creates a habit/routine for your brain and body that’ll make the program as simple as possible. It allows your body to slip into autopilot, which removes the stress and mental space of “Man, what the hell should I eat?” when it seems like you aren’t allowed to eat anything. Without that everyday routine, those 30 days are going to feel like hell.
Replace Your Munchies With Whole30-Approved Snacks
Your body is probably used to ingesting sugary/highly processed snacks when you’re high, so replace them with some Whole30-approved snacks instead. I didn’t have any super creative snack combinations since I hate dieting, so I just kept my snack options as simple as possible:
- Vegetables (sliced carrots, cucumbers, bell peppers)
- Almonds, cashews, or other unsalted mixed nuts (minus peanuts)
- Fresh fruit (my go-to favorites were watermelon and grapes)
- Guacamole
- And, of course, my real cheat code: Larabars. The Apple Pie, Banana Bread, and Cherry Pie Larabars are tasty enough to trick your brain into thinking you’re eating true sweets.
Only Smoke Around Mealtime
During the beginning of this diet, you’re still going to be fighting that munchies war. Only smoking around mealtime will make it easier to stay on track because your munchies will hit when you’re supposed to be eating, anyway. (Do the math and that’s a cool 4-6 sessions per day, so you can still get as high as you want.)
Have Tasks/Projects to Keep Your Mind Occupied
A downside to the Whole30 is that it gets incredibly boring. With the diet being so restrictive, you’ll find yourself with a lot of free time that was previously filled with activities that revolved around eating and drinking. If you don’t have replacement activities to fill this time, you’re going to be miserable thinking about all the food/drinks you can’t have.
The solution? Plan some some fun distractions to do while stoned. You can make slime, go see Black Panther (again), or do anything that keeps your brain focused on something other than food.
Enlist a Partner
The program is a lot easier to complete when you know someone else is going through the same feelings as you. Enlist a partner to keep you accountable, but to also be there when you’re irrationally angry at the entire diet come Day 17. Having a partner that you don’t want to let down will be a lifesaver during those times of “Screw this shit, I’m stoned and I need pizza.”
Don’t Quit
It’s as simple as that. If you want to change your body and completely redefine how it reacts to cannabis and the munchies, stick to the program for the full 30 days. You’ll get to the end and realize that it was never about cannabis, it was about the decisions you make. Good luck, my pals.
