Every weed smoker has an opinion on the best strain ever because we all have different experiences and memories connected to certain strains. But today, I mark the end of all that subjectivity: Once and for all, I’m crowning Gelato as the Greatest Of All Time—the GOAT.
Let me tell you why.
What is Gelato?
Gelato is a cross of Sunset Sherbert and Thin Mint GSC that tastes like a hashy grape-flavored ice cream cone without the calories. Born in 2014 from Cookie Family members Mario Guzman (Mr. Sherbinski) and Jai Chang (Jigga), Gelato usually produces dense, purple-accented flowers with orange hairs wrapped around the nug like a hug from your mother.
There are a wide variety of Gelato phenos, or varieties, on the market, most notably: Gelato #25 (aka Barry Bonds), Gelato #33 (Larry Bird), Gelato #41 (Bacio Gelato), Gelato #42, and Gelato #45 (Michael Jordan).
My personal favorite is #33, because it was used to make another favorite of mine, Ice Cream Cake, but truthfully, they all bat a thou-wow.
Since its birth, Gelato’s flavor has blown away countless consumers, winning it multiple Emerald Cups, Cannabis Cups, and even Leafly’s 2018 Strain of the year.
The Gelato experience is second to none
Off the rippy, our conversation can really start and finish with how good Gelato smokes. The smell? Loud. The taste? Sweet. Gassy. The smoke? Smooth. Wondrous. It’s a combination of everything good that comes from cannabis, all in one strain, like a cannabis Captain Planet.
In addition to taste, fam, why does Gelato smack like that?! Nah, deadass, every single time I smoke Gelato, no matter what grower, the high puts your boy’s brain on autopilot. It’s not necessarily a sleepy high, but moreso an intense relaxation that makes you feel like the day could really end now.
If you think of the definition of stoned as a dummy high that makes it where you don’t want to do anything but sit around and be goofy or absent-minded, that’s Gelato.
Gelato has the ‘Ooohweee, what’s that?!’ factor
One of the best feelings in the world is passing someone a joint of some ooohweee gooey gumdrop and them responding ‘Damn, what’s that?!’ after the first inhale.
With a mystery joint of Gelato, that’s the reaction you’ll get 100%—not 99.9, one hunna. It has such a uniquely delicious flavor that putting some Larry Bird to your lungs feels more like smoking candy than it does smoking weed.
Not a single person has ever smoked a fresh batch of Gelato flower or dabs and thought, “I don’t understand the hype.” If they did, they need to see a therapist about their deep-rooted insecurities projected onto the best weed they’ve ever smoked.
Gelato birthed our exotic weed obsessions
Look, if you’re smoking the zaza that goes straight to the māthā, you can thank Gelato’s influence for getting you there. Gelato is the dessert strain that set West Coast consumers on their current chase for exotic strains.
I won’t say Gelato is the first strain to ever have a unique flavor or hype around it—that would be erroneous on all counts. But I will say that of modern weed strains that are going to propel genetics forward, Gelato definitely will. Cookies dropped an all-timer, accept it.
Gelato ran so Runtz could fly
Runtz is probably the most sought-after strain on dispensary shelves today, a cross of Gelato and Zkittles. Without Gelato, Runtz would never exist (literally).
Past its genetics, Runtz splashed on the scene and became an overnight favorite like Drake in 2009 with So Far Gone. If we consider what strain paved the way for its cultural takeover, Gelato is definitely 808s & Heartbreak because So Far Gone would’ve never existed without it. Real heads know.
Gelato’s position in pop culture
Last, but not certainly not least, is Gelato’s influence on pop culture. Everyone wants to smoke rapper weed, and Gelato is definitely a favorite amongst hip-hop artists.
Young Dolph has a song called “Gelato”; Amine has a song called “Gelato”; Boosie references it on “Weed Head X4”; Juice Wrld (RIP) mentions Gelato on “Stay High”; Future mentions Gelato on “First Off”; Lil Uzi Vert has a big backwood full of Gelato on “Run It Up”; G-Eazy talks Gelato on “Shake It Up”; Gelato’s even in Offset’s verse on a Calvin Harris song. Calvin Harris songs play in Famous Footwear, fam.
So considering smokability, shareability, influence, legacy, and relevance, it’s pretty damn easy to see that Gelato is the GOAT of weed strains.
Argue with someone who cares.
