The Leafly Strain Reviews Hall of Fame: The Spanish Boy Band Edition

Ladies and gentlemen, scorpions and crawdads, the time has come once again for another round of the Leafly Strain Review Hall of Fame! This month takes us on an impressive journey through the minds (and innards) of Leafly’s best reviewers, a transport so vivid you might get a contact high.  Empiricism and information are our thing, but sometimes, you just gotta laugh at ALL THE THINGS.

So, without further ado, here are the reviews that split our sides during July:

Blue Dream

Blue Dream is oversaturated in the market, and this month overrepresented in reviews. But we couldn’t help ourselves. We’re not sure that in tandem these reviews will give you a clear picture of the effects, but we’re confident the laughs will be rolling in. 

My favorite strain gets me floating on clouds… one time I was so high I forgot I was in the woods! I literally thought I was on my couch but no I was in the woods.

Two words…Rice Balls.

Left me singing Spanish boyband songs on the couch and watching Power Rangers.

MK Ultra

In the greatest invention since the bug zapper, we bring you a new, revolutionary product that will LITERALLY zap all your cares away.

YOU WILL GET NOTHING DONE. Fucks Zapper! Kills fucks dead. NO FUCKS. None! Almost too lazy to bang: lots of giggling. Have tacos & ice cream ready.

Pineapple

A strain so potent, it tops the FBI's, NSA's, and CIA’s “Most Wanted” lists.

Documents leaked by Edward Snowden reveal smoking this strain of marijuana may cause procrastination and acute weed nap syndrome. Read more…

Jesus OG

Sometimes you just have to get right with the Lord. (Thanks be to God.)

Trust me when I say, you need Jesus in your life.

Blackberry

Hopefully this reviewer wasn’t trampling through the fire swamp; sticky, sugary, delicious ground would really slow them down if they encounter an R.O.U.S.

Feels like I’m walking through syrup.

Sour Diesel

What a coincidence! We generally feel things better when using our five senses, too!

Right now I feel so much pleasure; pleasure from everywhere all the time. I especially feel pleasure when I use any of my five senses. I am now taking big breaths and touching random objects because of this weird pleasure I have from doing it. 

Blue Diesel

No commentary required.

I can feel it behind my eyeballs, and a slight buzz on my dick. Yes.

Maui Waui

Sometimes a tropical holiday leaves you groggy and girlfriend-less in the morning, but $20 richer! 

I smoked this strain yesterday. Motivational, euphoric, citrus-tropical-smelling buds.. yesterday I also coincidentally broke up with my girlfriend, wrote a song, and found $20 rearranging my room. Be careful fellow do-stuff-when-I’m-high—ers.