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member since 2023

Recent Reviews1 total

Skywalker

6/9/2023
Little about me first.. I suffer with ADHD, bpd, anxiety / social anxiety, dissociation, and ocd-like symptoms and am currently in therapy. I have no school or work all summer and then I’m starting my studies at the university. (I’m 27) So I have gotten that far in my recovery but am still struggling to find balance in my life. I have, with assistance from my recovery instructor, planned some structure for this summer to support myself, keep me functioning and doing things I enjoy. I love planning my schedules as it makes me feel safe, but when I need to follow the routines at home and go out to meet people as I have planned, I get very anxious and doing the pre-planned things feels almost intolerable. I also tend to isolate and suffocate my feelings when I have nothing to do. So, I need to practice doing the things I have planned, that are meant to make me feel good, and support me towards my bigger life plans also. In smaller doses this strain has been great for me medically, since it has helped me navigate through my anxiety and comfort myself when I’m feeling bad. The overall vibe is very positive and affirming, but it has also made it easier to allow myself my feelings of grief and insecurities, which I have found especially hard to sit with. It makes it easier for me to emotionally support myself when I have to do stuff that is unpleasant but necessary for my wellbeing, such as brushing teeth, doing the dishes, cleaning my house, shop and prepare meals for myself, but also the things that I enjoy but feel anxious starting such as meeting people, going to interesting events, reading a book, doing my hobbies, etc. So, smoking this strain I’ve found it easier to follow my plans and actually enjoy myself, and the security that the basic structure brings. It has definitely helped dealing with adhd and social anxiety, as in it made me want to chat with people and made menial tasks more pleasant to do. Physically I feel relaxed but not tired. But on bigger dosages it got a little more psychedelic. Fair warning, it got me a little bit more anxious too, and worsened my intrusive thoughts and triggered dissociation easier. Definitely got into a different space on this one. Small doses work well for me, but too big of a dose – to which it easily slipped into, bc this stuff is POTENT – can be a little too much and gets me pretty out of it for about an hour. But after that for hours or days it keeps me happy and at ease with myself and how my life’s going. NOTE I'm also on antidepressants, so some of the negatives might be side effects from their interaction with the weed.
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