G........d

member since 2015

Recent Reviews10 total

Pennywise

2/17/2016
Penny wise was a twizted DEMON who said, "we all float down here." Hey you stupid kid, you obviously aren't really going to float in a gutter, especially if you just watched your idiot paper sailboat cruise down some car wash sludge runoff water of terror into the mouth of a FANGED CLOWN. pennywise is also the name of some super bro tough guy pop pump band from the 90s. They were on like every 5 dollar cd compilation you could buy at hot topic back in the day. Hey YOUNGER ME THAT IS NOT REALLY PUNK YOU ARE BEING SOLD A PRODUCT, A LIE, A COMPROMISE. smoking this herb strain makes you analytical and relaxed, good for muscles.

Cinex

2/3/2016
I had a light bowl of the cinex and met my friend for coffee. Before I knew it friend convinced me to meet him during his upcoming six month jaunt to central america. Five minutes later I own a one way ticket to Costa rica. Not all that crazy considering the ticket was only 250 bucks and I work pretty hard but play harder, if you know what I mean. What was crazy is that fueled by nothing but cinex and two cups of french press friend convinced me to do thirty minutes of stairs at the gym. This weed is NUTS!

Bridge City Collective - North Portland

1/31/2016
This place is really all I could ask for. It's not like that weird place with the weights and the fake fireplace. It's not like the old days where you had to try some dudes weird vegan beer and pretend their roommates dog wasn't trying to kill you. Those kind of things are cool if you are a teenager or you are buying weed in a foreign country and want a funny story to tell. Before you get that story, you should shave that stupid thing off your chin bro. Anyway, these people are friendly and make you feel like a normal adult making a normal purchase. Which is what you are. Go You.

Jack Herer

1/31/2016
This is a really good day off weed. Like wake up and partake and get lost in those Infinite Jest footnotes. Do like Hella crunches and even get the notion in your head to read and do push ups at the same time. Take a walk on a moody autumn day and deliberately walk by a place that reminds you of a love you lost. Poised, you smile so heavy when you can only remember the good times. It hurts but it feels good. Sober up at the coffeeshop with a good friend. This world is your own today, and your stepfather can't take that away from you. Thanks jack.

Pennywise

1/14/2016
I just got home from the Blazers game, looking for something to calm me down but not let me forget those sick Damian Lillard crossover moves, the CJ McCullom drives to the hole, the big blocks from our front court youngsters Aminu and Plumlee. And I can honestly say that after a coupla bowl to my dome I'm feeling clear and my muscles are relaxing wonderfully. A real slam dunk.

Lemon Kush

12/29/2015
I used to exclusively smoke the lemon kush. I would go to my dudes house and talk about how he wasn't vegan anymore. I would respectfully appreciate his health theories and talk about CIA and FBI conspiracies until he would just chill out, put on some harsh noise cassette tape and sell me an eighth. Ah, the good old days. This is definitely an inward high, cheaper than a therapist. I would lie awake for a few hours at night navigating the labyrinths of my mind. I learned to forgive my stepfather for his inability to be a decent human being to me growing up. He simply didn't have the tools to do the job. I'm smarter than him. I realized on the lemon kush that he's just dumb, then I felt sorry for him. Lemon kush is definitely the weed of forgiveness. Great lemon flavor, doesn't compare with any other flavor profile. Not a good social buzz, queue up that twin peaks DVD and chill out.

Green Crack

12/29/2015
People love this stuff. It sorta makes me feel like that episode of the Simpsons where Homer finds out that all of his Bros are in a mason like secret society, and he can't get in. But his FRIENDS have always had clubs without him. Maybe it's like how millions of people love the songs of Elton john, but it just makes me feel nauseated. One time I got high in tenth grade and my stepfather took me to an Elton John concert. Like trying to be my cool friend all of a sudden. I was high as hell and the minute I walked in there was a huge screen projecting scenes from the lion king and that silly old brit was crooning Can You Feel the Love Tonight. I just freaked out and watched the light show waiting for the falsetto part of Benny and the jets. When it came old Elton totally phoned it in and just mumbled the word Benny like he wanted to kill himself so yeah I don't get Green Crack but people like it for its medium buzz I guess. Terrible name too. Insensitive at best.

Harlequin

12/29/2015
Talk about class! This eloquent bud really knows how to treat you right. You can basically blaze harlequin chronic straight to your domepiece and still do long division for hours. My jerk stepfather and the endless taunting of my inbred peers contributed to a decades long fight against slouching and bad posture that one might associate with poor self esteem. Luckily I grew up to become a respected citizen in a very well liked but unknown struggling rock band. It gives me confidence, it improves my posture. The catch 22 is that guitar slinging and amplifier hauling and crouching over a notebook and carrying the weight of Artistic Responsibility brings that slouch right back. I'll keep rocking in the free world forever with a little help from the trusty harlequin, and some really good exercise routines.

Harle-Tsu

12/29/2015
Weed that relieves pain but doesn't get you high? Sounds like a dream! I'm like totally sick of my records anyway and need to get some Serious Art done without getting distracted by some horrible early 2003 Simpsons episode. Everybody knows that shit is weak after season 8, anyway. But dang, this strain is just hard to feel. It's like how doctors say you need a little fat with your salad or else the nutrients are just in and out like they never stopped by in the first place. I prefer cbd strains to have a little thc, that's all. Go with harlequin if you can find it. It's like season 4 vs season 37 or whatever they are on. It's like a good friend coming over but not being as funny as usual.
Reported
feelings
CreativeEnergeticFocused

Tree of Life

12/29/2015
Doctor, my eyes! This strain is everything I like about weed. I appreciate the light cbd pain relief with that deep tissue thc massage. It's like the jolly green giant split into millions of tiny jolly green buds and started dancing around on my aching shoulders, playing sick pan flute music and letting those green togas sway in a pacific ocean breeze in September. I still feel energetic and just remembered I brought home a delicious meal from my favorite Yucatan food joint. I can tell I'm going to have a great night doing the laundry, listening to mournful soul music, catching a prime time nba game on tv, and having relaxed but sincere interactions with roommates along the way.
Reported
feelings
CreativeEnergeticEuphoricFocusedHappyRelaxedTalkativeTingly