k........n

I imagine this is the strain that Snoop Dogg reaches for when he wants to get stupid. More... I can't.

This is definitely cannabis. This takes me back to high school, when I'd hit a bowl in the car on my break at work and start feeling uplifted and smiley on the walk to get some espresso. The immediate rush after smoking is energetic and uplifted. If you keep it moving I think this could be a good motivational strain, but as soon as your ass hits a couch that energetic alto drops into a soothing baritone massage in your abdomen and legs. Five out of five because the flavor is light and nondescript, but also worth exploring for its slightly sweet overtones. This is a smoker's cannabis.

While smoking for this review I wrote a rap that I was gonna try to use as the review. That's how quick this gets you jacked out of your mind. Every draw zaps your visual cortex with the force of a hundred woodstock eighths. Little moments of surreality scatter away from your focus while your brain recovers its composure. This stuff burns acrid and hits instantly. This is an indica, and unsurprisingly you're gonna be chillin like the fish at the budget Sushi restaurant isn't. But this isn't a "melt into a plush couch and giggle through vintage Hostess cakes at the Seth Rogan movies you're watching through the spaces between your eyelashes" kind of chill. This is a "sit back and hold on because we're about to chill the fuck out, motherfucker" kind of chill. This is agitating. You're going to be chilled out whether you like it or not, and the aggression is going to shock you into boyish shyness so you're definitely not going to like it at first, but it's going to happen anyway and after the first time it's not so bad but boy oh boy that first time is a ride. You're chill and you know it. Jokes are aggressively funny. You scratch a little too much or too hard at times. The spiders are either under your skin, or you're inside out and the spiders are really on top of your skin. You imagine at least once that this might be what autistic children feel all the time. This is the kind of strain that makes me wonder how seriously we should take the warnings from the medical community that cannabis use is associated with psychotic events or even schizophrenia. Then comes the opiate. At some point through this review, which I started right after a king-size of God's Gift, shit got very real very fast. I don't know where exactly it happened, but it occurs to me that I've been staring into space for some time now. --- tl;dr: Use this if your condition involves not having a burst of energy to clean your room before crashing hard into opioid bliss. --- Four stars because it has a weird burn like it's got nicotine in it. Otherwise the odor and flavor are totally unimpressive besides their potency, which is outrageous.

This OG pushes a warm orange euphoria in the treble and upper midrange frequencies of euphoria waves. If Skywalker were more Jazz and less lasers I'd call the midrange anemic and the bass deceased. Being One with the Force has the benefit of a huge boost to your vigor, stamina, and strength, however, so Skywalker OG is definitely out to treat depression, dysthymia, fatigue, or athletic pain. Being such an energetic buzz makes me see those euphoria frequencies in a different light; now, instead of the bass feeling anemic, the unadulturated treble feels like an oxygen-rich breeze through your peripheral nerves. --- tl;dr: This is an outdoor music festival herb. --- Four stars because it tastes kinda bad. Too much sour, too much skunk, not enough flavor; like a hop-head without a good friend to tell him that being crazy about hops doesn't make him stand out as cool.

One of my favorite Sativas; Sour Maui has a quick clean come-up and a breezy head high with a delicate lifted body. This is a thinker, a checklister, a spring cleaner; enjoy this high with a lightly-clouded 22C and a salty breeze on a 50cc motorbike. Four stars because the odor and flavor leave a lot to be desired. I'd like to see the light-high qualities pushed a bit richer and then hybridize with something super with a citrusy blueberry or dark raspberry flavor.